KD^3C^3 - 20241110
Hello friends. Here I am again. Here's a thing I wrote.
November 1 2024
I and my partner drive to the nearest town without a boil water notice, so we can spend the weekend ordering takeout to a hotel room and watch cable. On the one hand it doesn’t feel particularly luxurious, but on the other hand it’s the peak of hedonism since we’ve recently survived a hurricane and the death of our cat (unrelated.)
October 2013
I am working at the Apple store. There’s an apple keynote going on, but we’re not allowed to watch it from the floor. Instead people are playing it on laptops in the break room, or the back of house, and when someone moves from one of these places back to the main floor they bring with them fleeting updates about what the latest news is. On a stage in Cupertino California Phil Schiller says “Can’t innovate anymore, my ass” after unveiling the new mac pro. it is possibly the most ridiculous computer apple has made in my lifetime. Or at least since I started paying attention. The base model is three thousand US dollars, and you can upgrade the configuration to cost close to seven thousand.
November 3 2024
We are leaving the hotel and driving to the Apple Store. We ate way too much pizza and wings and have leftovers to last us for days. I realize my pants are still basically pajamas and decide to change in the car once we get there. I have a set of hard pants I packed in case of an emergency (if you knew why you needed Emergency Pants in advance, then it probably wouldn’t be an emergency.) I slipped out of my ratty PJs and into something acceptable for the apple store (low bar, but still.) We are here to buy iphones and probably a new iPad. We have arrived at the mall so early that many of the stores aren’t even open yet.
Sometime in 2015
I am working at the apple store. I am at the front doors serving as what we affectionately call the Air Traffic Controller position. The store has a lot of moving parts, and many of them are invisible to the casual observer. My job is to quickly assess what someone walking in the door needs and get them to the right people. A woman comes through the big glass doors and pull back almost immediately. It looks like she is blown back by a huge wind. What is actually happening is that she needs to get her phone fixed, but the sheer number of people in the store gives her an anxiety attack and she can barely cross the threshold. I’m a little taken aback by her reaction, but like a fish who doesn’t know what water is, I don’t know what it’s really like for someone who doesn’t spend nearly every day in this environment. We get her paired up with a technician near the very front of the store and they even offer to take her outside to work on the problem.
November 3 2024
We walk into the apple store and assess the situation. Despite the map being barely open, I would describe the number of people in this store as “healthy.” I spot the person who I think is doing whatever the equivalent of air traffic control is and I make eye contact. she raises her voice pas the customer in front of us and lets us know she will be with us shortly. While we stand awkwardly and wait, we pick up one of the iPhones on the table in front of us. The first thing I notice is the security cable.
October 2013
Angela Ahrendts is paid an unreasonable sum to take over as the head of Apple Retail . She’s is reportedly paid more than the CEO, Tim Cook, in 2014. Angel works to put her own stamp on the retail space doing things like getting id of name tags and probably other things that actually mattered. One of the last things she does before I quit is decide that security cabled don’t match the vibe the store should have. A security cable attached to a device implies that there might be a theft, but the Apple Store is a welcoming place where people gather to build community, not a place where angry customers come to yell about broken phones. So the security cables go. Does it lead to more theft? I couldn’t say.
November 3 2024
I laugh at the security cables that are clearly attached to each device in the tore. the technology has improved since 2013, because now each one retracts under the table via a spring-loaded mechanism. A technology I’m party sure Best Buy had in 1997. We’re approached by another apple employee. while waiting for the first one. He asks us from the other end of the table we’re at why we came in today. I tell him we’re here to buy some iphones. This idea seems to give him pause, but re recovers quickly and tells us to go stand at a different table. The someone will come talk to us and have us go stand at a third table where someone will eventually come to sell us some iphones. I’m both confused and unimpressed. At this point two different employees have given me contradictory instructions and I’m still not sure where I should be.
October 2024
I’m browsing craigslist like I do, and I see something marvelous. A 2013 Mac Pro. The glorious trashcan. And it’s cheap. I’ve been eyeing eBay listings on and off for a few months now, butI couldn’t never quite justify spending the money that they typically go for there. But this one is going for easily a third of what they go for on eBay. And it’s got decent specs as well. A top of the line computer for 2013 is not as impressive today, but it’s still a computer that would be more than adequate for most uses, and it has more RAM and storage than my main computer right now. and the price is roughly 3% or original retail. What a steal. I send him a tentative email asking a basic question, mostly to see if it is still available.
November 3 2024
I am becoming overwhelmed by the noise of this place, and the lack of a welcoming environment means I last another 5 minutes before I’m done with the store. My sweetheart and I discuss the colors we want, and we have a hard time picking. We want the same phone, but in different colors so we can tell them apart at a glance. She dice ides on the pink, and i end up choosing the “Ultramarine” which is blue in all but name. But since nobody here in the store is all that excited to take our money, we decide to order them in the car on the way back home. We take our leave from the store. The ordering process online is simple and straightforward and They’ll deliver everything by November 5.
November 4 2024
I finally her back from the guy selling the Mac Pro. I’m not sure what the delay was previously, but it’s still available and He’s happy to meet tomorrow. Meeting someone from craigslist isn’t the worst part, the worst part is deciding where to meet. He finally suggests Atlanta Bread, which to my outsider eyes looks like Panera Bread in all but name. It’s a bit of a drive from me, around 30 minutes, but I’m willing to make the drive for such a nice computer. He also double checks that I know it doesn’t come with a monitor, something I know and am fine with. I don’t actually have a monitor for it yet, but that’s a Future Kevin Problem.
November 2 2024
I walk to the grocery store next to our hotel for some additional supplies. On the way in I notice someone stop and take a picture of a car in the parking lot. Only when I look at what he’s taking a picture of do I realize there’s a cyber truck in the lot. Not just a cyber truck, but one that has been wrapped with a weird blue geometric pattern. This is the first cyber truck I’ve seen in my life. ITs just as weird looking in person as you’ve heard. Expect it’s even bigger than I think. I snap a pic or two on my way in.
November 5 2024
I’m anxiously waiting for the arrival of our new phones, but I’m also excited to meet the guy from craigslist. I take an early lunch and head out the door. I make it in a little under 30 minutes, because I’m both excited and I know I need to get back to work. We pull into the parking lot at the same time, a fact we only realized when texting each other to confirm our presence. I hope out and shake hands with the man. He pops the hatch on his car and there it is. The little black metal trashcan of my dreams. It seems a little smaller than I remember it, but I’m so excited to see it. He throws in a magic mouse and apple keyboard, and I take all three. I place the computer into the passenger seat and briefly consider seat belting it in. I make it back to my desk before my lunch hour has even ended. Our new iPhones have not arrived. a few hours later I get a notification that FedEx was unable to deliver the phones and will try again tomorrow. Despite someone being at the house all day. And instead of a picture of the “attempted delivery” note on our door (which wasn’t left) the driver took a picture of their hand. My suspicion is that the picture is supposed to prove they were there, but this one just furthered my suspicion that they didn’t even try.
November 1 2024
I and my partner drive to the nearest town without a boil water notice, so we can spend the weekend ordering takeout to a hotel room and watch cable. On the one hand it doesn’t feel particularly luxurious, but on the other hand it’s the peak of hedonism since we’ve recently survived a hurricane and the death of our cat (unrelated.)
October 2013
I am working at the Apple store. There’s an apple keynote going on, but we’re not allowed to watch it from the floor. Instead people are playing it on laptops in the break room, or the back of house, and when someone moves from one of these places back to the main floor they bring with them fleeting updates about what the latest news is. On a stage in Cupertino California Phil Schiller says “Can’t innovate anymore, my ass” after unveiling the new mac pro. it is possibly the most ridiculous computer apple has made in my lifetime. Or at least since I started paying attention. The base model is three thousand US dollars, and you can upgrade the configuration to cost close to seven thousand.
November 3 2024
We are leaving the hotel and driving to the Apple Store. We ate way too much pizza and wings and have leftovers to last us for days. I realize my pants are still basically pajamas and decide to change in the car once we get there. I have a set of hard pants I packed in case of an emergency (if you knew why you needed Emergency Pants in advance, then it probably wouldn’t be an emergency.) I slipped out of my ratty PJs and into something acceptable for the apple store (low bar, but still.) We are here to buy iphones and probably a new iPad. We have arrived at the mall so early that many of the stores aren’t even open yet.
Sometime in 2015
I am working at the apple store. I am at the front doors serving as what we affectionately call the Air Traffic Controller position. The store has a lot of moving parts, and many of them are invisible to the casual observer. My job is to quickly assess what someone walking in the door needs and get them to the right people. A woman comes through the big glass doors and pull back almost immediately. It looks like she is blown back by a huge wind. What is actually happening is that she needs to get her phone fixed, but the sheer number of people in the store gives her an anxiety attack and she can barely cross the threshold. I’m a little taken aback by her reaction, but like a fish who doesn’t know what water is, I don’t know what it’s really like for someone who doesn’t spend nearly every day in this environment. We get her paired up with a technician near the very front of the store and they even offer to take her outside to work on the problem.
November 3 2024
We walk into the apple store and assess the situation. Despite the map being barely open, I would describe the number of people in this store as “healthy.” I spot the person who I think is doing whatever the equivalent of air traffic control is and I make eye contact. she raises her voice pas the customer in front of us and lets us know she will be with us shortly. While we stand awkwardly and wait, we pick up one of the iPhones on the table in front of us. The first thing I notice is the security cable.
October 2013
Angela Ahrendts is paid an unreasonable sum to take over as the head of Apple Retail . She’s is reportedly paid more than the CEO, Tim Cook, in 2014. Angel works to put her own stamp on the retail space doing things like getting id of name tags and probably other things that actually mattered. One of the last things she does before I quit is decide that security cabled don’t match the vibe the store should have. A security cable attached to a device implies that there might be a theft, but the Apple Store is a welcoming place where people gather to build community, not a place where angry customers come to yell about broken phones. So the security cables go. Does it lead to more theft? I couldn’t say.
November 3 2024
I laugh at the security cables that are clearly attached to each device in the tore. the technology has improved since 2013, because now each one retracts under the table via a spring-loaded mechanism. A technology I’m party sure Best Buy had in 1997. We’re approached by another apple employee. while waiting for the first one. He asks us from the other end of the table we’re at why we came in today. I tell him we’re here to buy some iphones. This idea seems to give him pause, but re recovers quickly and tells us to go stand at a different table. The someone will come talk to us and have us go stand at a third table where someone will eventually come to sell us some iphones. I’m both confused and unimpressed. At this point two different employees have given me contradictory instructions and I’m still not sure where I should be.
October 2024
I’m browsing craigslist like I do, and I see something marvelous. A 2013 Mac Pro. The glorious trashcan. And it’s cheap. I’ve been eyeing eBay listings on and off for a few months now, butI couldn’t never quite justify spending the money that they typically go for there. But this one is going for easily a third of what they go for on eBay. And it’s got decent specs as well. A top of the line computer for 2013 is not as impressive today, but it’s still a computer that would be more than adequate for most uses, and it has more RAM and storage than my main computer right now. and the price is roughly 3% or original retail. What a steal. I send him a tentative email asking a basic question, mostly to see if it is still available.
November 3 2024
I am becoming overwhelmed by the noise of this place, and the lack of a welcoming environment means I last another 5 minutes before I’m done with the store. My sweetheart and I discuss the colors we want, and we have a hard time picking. We want the same phone, but in different colors so we can tell them apart at a glance. She dice ides on the pink, and i end up choosing the “Ultramarine” which is blue in all but name. But since nobody here in the store is all that excited to take our money, we decide to order them in the car on the way back home. We take our leave from the store. The ordering process online is simple and straightforward and They’ll deliver everything by November 5.
November 4 2024
I finally her back from the guy selling the Mac Pro. I’m not sure what the delay was previously, but it’s still available and He’s happy to meet tomorrow. Meeting someone from craigslist isn’t the worst part, the worst part is deciding where to meet. He finally suggests Atlanta Bread, which to my outsider eyes looks like Panera Bread in all but name. It’s a bit of a drive from me, around 30 minutes, but I’m willing to make the drive for such a nice computer. He also double checks that I know it doesn’t come with a monitor, something I know and am fine with. I don’t actually have a monitor for it yet, but that’s a Future Kevin Problem.
November 2 2024
I walk to the grocery store next to our hotel for some additional supplies. On the way in I notice someone stop and take a picture of a car in the parking lot. Only when I look at what he’s taking a picture of do I realize there’s a cyber truck in the lot. Not just a cyber truck, but one that has been wrapped with a weird blue geometric pattern. This is the first cyber truck I’ve seen in my life. ITs just as weird looking in person as you’ve heard. Expect it’s even bigger than I think. I snap a pic or two on my way in.
November 5 2024
I’m anxiously waiting for the arrival of our new phones, but I’m also excited to meet the guy from craigslist. I take an early lunch and head out the door. I make it in a little under 30 minutes, because I’m both excited and I know I need to get back to work. We pull into the parking lot at the same time, a fact we only realized when texting each other to confirm our presence. I hope out and shake hands with the man. He pops the hatch on his car and there it is. The little black metal trashcan of my dreams. It seems a little smaller than I remember it, but I’m so excited to see it. He throws in a magic mouse and apple keyboard, and I take all three. I place the computer into the passenger seat and briefly consider seat belting it in. I make it back to my desk before my lunch hour has even ended. Our new iPhones have not arrived. a few hours later I get a notification that FedEx was unable to deliver the phones and will try again tomorrow. Despite someone being at the house all day. And instead of a picture of the “attempted delivery” note on our door (which wasn’t left) the driver took a picture of their hand. My suspicion is that the picture is supposed to prove they were there, but this one just furthered my suspicion that they didn’t even try.