KD^3C^3 - 20250126 Big hand's on one-twenty
Do you ever think too hard about New Year’s Eve glasses?
Never mind that I’m going to write about Facebook’s streaming cartoon Human Kind Of. I got the whim to watch the musical episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer one morning and when you get that urge, you follow through on it. I can confirm that the episode is as good as it ever was (and it was great) but while I was watching it, I got a little sad that most of the stars of the show didn’t go on to a lot of other great things. In some cases that might be because Joss Whedon is a jerk who squashed their careers (seriously) but even outside of that I think most of them should have had more to do outside of Buffy (If they wanted it.)
This lead me to looking up Michele Trachtenberg, who played Dawn in Seasons 5-7 of the show. She has a key storyline in the musical episode and I found myself enjoying her performance more than I had previously remembered. So I do what I often do after this confluence of thoughts and went to look up the actor on IMDB. I wasn’t surprised that she hasn’t done a lot of work lately, bathed the occasional one-off credit in a lot of shows. after playing a more hefty role on the original run of Gossip Girl (28 episodes, so I doubt that she was a lead.)
What surprised me was a show called Human Kind of from 2018 with 21 episodes listed. Turns out it was part of the slate of programs This was that brief period of time where Facebook was trying to launch a streaming service, but before they (allegedly) colluded with netflix to stop producing content so as to not compete against each other.
In that brief period of time Facebook created 14 original scripted shows, including 3 animated ones. This was around the time Bojack Horseman was big and it looked like there was a real future for adult animation as a genre. (Animation isn’t actually a genre but tell that the the pile of shows that tried to copy Bojack Horseman) Also, I think it should be mentioned, because it’s my favorite fact about Facebook Watch, There was a TV show based on a podcast called Limetown that starred Jessica Biel and Stanley Tucci, just to show how much Facebook was putting money behind their streaming service (until they agreed with Netflix to stop. Allegedly)
The premise of this show is that a teenager, on her 16th birthday, discovers that she is probably half alien. Each episode is only about 5-10 minutes long, which means you can watch all 21 in just under two ans a half hours. So I did.
These are my thoughts.
Episode 1 - Attack of the Period Monster
Judy (our protagonist) has her first period at 16 and giant semi-sentient blood clot comes out of her and begins terrorizing the town (and eating people). Her mother explains that she expected this might happen eventually because Judy was conceived when Iris (Judy’s mother) had sex with an alien while high on Ayahuasca and Judy was born 2 months later out of Iris’s Mouth. Cory, Iris’s best friend calls Iris to tell her the monster is at the pharmacy. Iris and Judy drive there and kill the blow clot by pouring blood thinners on it. We also get a stinger where a secret agent scoops up some of the blood in a vial.
As far as premise pilots go, this isn’t a bad one. We get a good sense of Judy and Iris, but not much of Cory, and an idea of what each episode might be like. A new alien related thing happens to Judy and then they have to deal with it. With episodes this short it’s hard not to do much more than that, but we’ll see how it goes. 7/10
Episode 2 - Gene Genie
In class Judy is in class and discovering her powers which include Telepathy and telekinesis. Cody confronts her in the bathroom and learns the truth, after causing Judy of being a robot or doppelgänger. Back at home Cory and Judy decode her DNA (a process which takes only 30 seconds) and discover a message from her dad, and a phone number, embedded in the genome. She calls the number while her mom gets drunk and leaves a voicemail. The episode ends with the agent in a van nearby recording the message, and we see Judy’s dad receiving it as well.
Not much of a plot in this one, which was actually more stage setting than episode 1. We quickly bring Cory into the fold, but this felt like a prologue to future events rather than a standalone episode. 3/10
Episode 3 - Volleyball Goddess
Cory is painting a bruise on Judy to get out of gym class. Turns out half the class is doing the same thing. The teacher sees through it then makes the fakers play volleyball against the rest of the class, a blatantly unfair situation. Except Judy’s alien powers make her unreasonably good at the game and she single-handedly defeats the opposing team. One of the popular boys (Ethan) finds this hot. Back home Judy is exercising and getting noticeably jacked immediately. Her mom disapproves, because Ethans are bad at commitment. Judy continues to get more jacked at a clearly alien infused rate becoming a volleyball-esque hulk. But then she hurts some people, gets sad and shrinks back down. She then breaks her own leg to get out of class.
The only good joke in this (and it’s not a great one) is that the gym teacher would rather be a drama teacher, so she fuels all her instructions through the prism of theater. Averything else that happens is fairly boring teen comedy stuff, plus a thin slathering of alien powers on top. Nobody really thinks it’s weird that Judy gets jacked, then un-jacked so quickly. I’m not excited that I have 18 of these left. 2/10
Episode 4 - Judy and the Beast
Judy wakes up and looks scaly and with tusks(?) poking out of her face. She is sad, but Cory says she can win the Costume Contest, which her mother support when she learns that the prize is. Judy is sad because Ethan was going to ask her to the dance. Iris and Cory put on a dress try-on montage and each time Judy comes out looking more grotesque. Judy’s teacher comes by to drop of her homework (I guess word travels fast that she skipped school) and Iris is smitten and asks him to combine and say hi. He tries to give her an inspirational task through the door. She comes out and he compliments her “halloween costume.” They go to the dance and bump into the agent from earlier but think he’s only a kid in a costume. Judy wins the contest with Ethan and they dance. She molts to look normal and Ethan asks her on a date (while she has a vision of biting his head off.)
This one at least used the “alien as metaphor for teen problems” more than the last one, but so much happened that it felt like everything was set up and resolved at breakneck speed. These sub 10 minute episodes (this one was under 5) really have no room to breath at all. 5/10
Episode 5 - Mating Habits
Judy is on her date with Ethan but kills him (oh it was a dream) and now Judy is worrying that she wants to literally eat Ethan because of her alien parts. She grows mandibles when she’s attracted to guys. Iris offers a homeless man for Judy to eat before her date but Judy is not attracted to him, so she doesn’t want to eat him. Instead Iris offers appetite suppressants. Iris and Cory are going to follow her on the date incase Ethan gets eaten and they have to clean up. Ethan turns out to be a total loser who thinks he’s cool. He recites a poem and tries to kiss Judy which she rejects by transforming. After the women leave the agent shows up and erases Ethan’s Memory.
Turns out Ethan is only attractive from a distance, so nobody gets eaten in this episode. I did kind of like the goofy fake cool gibberish he was spouting on the date. Plus there was a Twin Peaks reference at the end. 6/10
Episode 6 - Uncommon Cold
We get another scene in class. Ethan is making fun of Judy after their date. She telekenetically pulls his eye out of his skull then sneezes into the future, where she sees a guy with an eyepatch. She keeps sneezing which send her back to the present and then to the future where she sees flashes of her future including a wedding and giving birth to a slug. In her longest jaunt she tells the eyepatch guy she’s from the past. In her last trip she sees her future husband die of a future disease. She briefly considers Ethan was her future husband, but then puts his eye back in so it’s not him.
There’s really no room for these things to breathe is there? Thins whole episode almost takes place in real time, covering roughly 5 minutes where Judy sees snapshots of her whole (potential?) future. Solid episode, good misdirect with the eyepatch guy. 9/10
Episode 7 - Interior: Bully
Cory and Judy are playing with a nihilist cootie catcher. Judy accidentally uses her telepathy against her bully. Cory wants to use the power for evil. Judy reads Melissa (her bully)’s brain and learns she framed Judy for cheating in 6th grade. Judy stalks Melissa at home and it turns out she’s miserable because of her family’s pressure to be pretty instead of smart, but also that she got cheek implants. Judy connects with Melissa at school, until other kids show up and she reacts by pushing Judy away.
We really are retreading all the classic teen comedy plots. This was better when Freaks and Geeks did it. I’m already so tired of these. and I’m only 33.3% through. 3/10
Episode 8 - Desperately Seeking Social Skills
Cory isn’t at lunch and Judy can’t start eating without her. Judy has to eat alone, which means she doesn’t have a social group anymore. Her alien powers turn her into a got kid so she sits with the other goth kids. Then she transforms into a horse kid to hang out with the horse kids and a teacher to sit with the teachers. Cory sees all this and is mad. Judy keeps shapeshifting between different social circles and Cory confronts her. They fight because Judy sees Cory as her sidekick. Then the episode ends.
Another half story. The show is trying to be serialized, but any time it leans to far in that direction the individual episodes really suffer. But it’s not like you could watch this as one two and a half hour movie (the total length of the series) either. Even though that’s kind of what I’m doing by binging the whole series. Also this episode had a total of 15 comments over the last 6 years and that’s very funny to me. Because this thing is so obscure, despite whoever much money facebook put into making it. I hope the cast got paid well at least. 1/10
Episode 9 - The Core
An episode following Cory specifically as she deals with the fallout from the fight in last episode. It’s presented as an issue of the comic book she writes (Which we’re first hearing about) but also with flashes of what’s happening in the real world, where Cory throws together a makeshift costume to be her super villain alter ego The Core, which mostly includes wearing goggles and a sweat shirt tied rounder neck like a cape. She fights her parents and runs to school instead of taking the bus. Then she starts showing pencils at a teacher so the class doesn’t have to take a test, which works. The episode ends with a reconciliation between Cory and Judy.
Cory is really having a breakdown in this episode, but it feels like it’s playing for comedy. 8/10
The facebook player is absolutely terrible. First of all I had to use a browser plugin to block all the login popups and watch the episodes. Then each episode starts muted, but if you click out of the player the default behavior it also pauses and mutes the video again, which means I spend the first 30 seconds of each episode trying to re-adjust the settings I can take notes while I’m watching. I’m suffering for my art.*
*My art is apparently watching mediocre videos online and writing about the.
Episode 10 - Mr. Russo is Missing
Mr Russo, the regular science teacher who has been in a lot of episodes is out and has been replaced by a substitute teacher. He’s a “Cool sub” which means he is very not cool at all. Cool Sub gives an oral pop quiz where he threatens the students with the class bully if they fail. Judy decides Mr. Russo is avoiding Iris, so she and Cory leave class to hunt him down. The go to his home, but he’s not there. So they break in. Turns out Mr. Russo has a bunch of nice pictures of Judy and Iris on the fridge. Judy feels bad and decides to leave. Cory stays for inspiration for her comics. Cory discovers that Russo has been tracking Judy’s alien powers and know everything She confronts him when he comes home and the episode ends.
We are sliding more towards serialization. Judy gets a complete arc in this one at least. She goes from suspicious of Russo to happy about him. The only alien thing is Judy punching the door to Mr. Russo’s apartment in, although the rest are mentioned when the secret research room is detected. The joke about the DVD of Stock Footage of Families was very funny. 5/10
Episode 11 - You can trust me Judy
Judy gets summoned to the principle’s office. There the Agent is waiting, along with a bunch of other identical agents. He offers a chance to work together and even proves it by letting her read his mind. Then Mr. Russo freezes time and walks through the wall (He can do that I guess?) and Cory is there tool Russo removes the brain jammer the agent is wearing and Judy sees his true intentions are to cut open Judy and study her. Turns out Russo was sent to protect Judy and is taking her, iris and Cory to a rendezvous point. but they’re ambushed by agents. They’re saved by an alien who we know is Judy’s Dad. He kills a bunch of the agents, makes the rest promise not to hurt Judy, and then makes her the official ambassador to Earth and invites her to space before jetting back off to space himself.
Los of plot in this episode. Probably as much as we’ve had since the first episode. Really feels like a turning point in the series, and the fact that we’ve apparently run oft of Teenage alien at school material at the half way point feels rather telling. This one has an ad break! No ad played, but there was the sort of cut to black cliffhanger where an ad would go if there was one. A weird thing to have in a 6 minute long episode. Good Joke: Cory kicks all the agents in the balls while they’re frozen. 6/10
Episode 12 - Space Camp
Cory and Judy are preparing to go to space. Cory had a u-haul full of supplies, and Iris is sad about Judy leaving, even though it’s just for the weekend. She offers a tentacles hopper/chastity belt but Judy politely refuses. After waiting all day Judy’s dad still hasn’t arrived. Judy calls, but just gets his voicemail. Iris comforts Judy and shares she also spent years waiting for her dad. Judy lashes out at Russo, crushing his car, but he treats her like person and she feels better. Dad interrupts a TV show (Twin Peaks!) to tell Judy as an ambassador she has to spend at least another year on her planet before leaving.
After all the rigamarole in the last episode and this one, we’ve really hit the reset button, going back to the basic premise of “half alien teenager.” We get some classic deadbeat dad stuff, and the fact that he’s an alien is really irrelevant. The stuff between Russo and Judy actually worked for me, kind of. This is the only one to put the episode number in the title of the video. That’s a weird thing, and I wonder if it was supposed to be there. 5/10
Episode 13 - Work is Work
Judy gets a waitress job to help support her mom. She’s also working as an ambassador to a group of alien tourists to earth while working and serving a bunch of unruly teens from school. Iris an Russo come in and Judy quits when she learns that the space federation she is an ambassador for pays in diamonds.
This is classic sitcom hijinks. It was a classic when Goldoni wrote Servant of Two Masters in 1746. But it’s also a classic for a reason. two competing groups demanding attention from one person, in this case aliens and teens. I also appreciated the escalating deserts Cory was eating over the episode culminating in a chocolate fountain she carried around with her. Plus we got a couple more Twin Peaks references, which I appreciate. The episodes stopped having english subtitles about 3 episodes ago, which is a real disappointment. They do come in auto-generated Spanish though! 9/10
Episode 14 - Aliens Anonymous
Judy is sad because she knows there’s a whole universe of people out there. Mr. Russo sits down with them at lunch and recommends Judy come to an Aliens Anonymous meeting. all of the aliens take off their disguises and Cory tries to sit in wearing a costume but is caught and kicked out. The aliens share their stories then reminisce about their space histories. Judy learns that Earth is like a cosmic Nebraska where people come to hide out because it’s very forgettable. The aliens learn she was born here and they all try to get something from her dad before Mr. Russo shuts them down. Judy is still sad because she still feels alone even after the meeting. Iris and Cory sulk about being excluded.
One of the aliens is clearly supposed to be Bill Nye, who likes eating kids and another one s is just Neil DeGrasse Tyson, which isn’t a great look, because of the history of sexual abuse allegations, but I think those came out after the episode premiered. This episode barely had a plot, it was mostly an excuse to show off some different alien designs. Judy is sad and alone at the beginning and end. 4/10
Episode 15 - Hoax of the Century
Video of that tine Judy’s dad showed up is going viral. Everyone is watching it and know thinks Judy is an alien (because she is.) Judy is nauseous at the revelation, Iris recommends poisoning the water supply to kill everyone who saw it. They decdide to contact the Agent to enlist his let in a government coverup. He calls preemptively to team up. Cory and Judy go to the generic government office and meet the Agent. He proposes reshooting the video from a different angle to “prove” the original was fake. We get a montage of The Agent doing a terrible series of takes. Judy learns that the government knows about many aliens on earth, but she’s special because she has a bunch of special powers.
Where did that video come from? Who took it? This episode doesn’t care. Videos just appear online doncha know? Which is weirdly on-brand for a facebook watch series. I think the further we move away from episodes that are about Judy directly the worse the series is. 1/10
Episode 16 - House Party
Iris and Mr. Russo are going away for the weekend, so Cory is throwing a party at Judy’s house. Judy is pretending to be over Ethan, but he might come to the party so she gets excited. They have to get booze though for Ethan to show up. Judy texts an alien for a connection. Jonathan, the alien brings a bunch of alien friends who take off their human suits. Cory solves this with strategic banner reading “Alien Costume Party.” Melissa rips of an alien’s antennae to wear as a costume. An alien secretes booze, and gets drunk on water. Cory is doing alien drugs. Ethan and Melissa broke up for the duration of the party so Ethan can make out with her. But then when Judy is distracted they get back together, so Judy says one of the aliens can eat him. Judy meets her half sibling from a generation ship, but he was a deadbeat to them too. Turns out Judy’s dad is a time-hopping serial philanderer. The cops show up and the party ends. Except it was Judy shapeshifting as the cops. As all the aliens leave she sees her eye-patched future husband leaving the house.
Most of the aliens we see are from previous episodes, so that’s kind of fun. Cory hallucinating all the organisms inside her body cheering her on was funny. Most everything else was standard party episode shenanigans with just a little bit of alien veneer on top. Nothing is significantly different because of aliens. 2/10
Episode 17 - Plan B from Outer space
Judy in english class reading Taming of the Shrew. The Gym Teacher got transferred to English because of reasons, and still wants to be directing. Judy gets nauseous and buff and vomits chocolate on Cory. In the nurse’s office the nurse tells Judy she is pregnant. It’s clear the nurse is bad at her job, but Judy takes her seriously. She specs that when she walked in on some spore aliens at the party she might have gotten impregnated then. Russo takes Judy to a froyo shop and reveals all froyo shops are actually fronts for alien businesses. This one is an alien pregnancy center. Turns out she’s not pregnant, but has a space STD.
I do like Shakespeare, so that was a nice surprise. But the rest of the episode… has nothing interesting to say. It’s not like i’ve come to expect particularly deep or insightful things, but at least some of the jokes can be clever. This didn’t even do that. FYI That is Betsy Sodaro as the Gym/English teacher, which I suspected back in the Volleyball episode, but didn’t look up until now. She’s one of my favorites as a recurring character in Ghosts (which is a much better TV show than this) 4/10
Episode 18 - Invisible Girl
Judy becomes so embarrassed at her mom making out with MR. Russo in the parking lot that she becomes invisible. And also inaudible. Then she accidentally gets stuck in the car with Iris while she goes about her day. She works as a sample giver at a grocery store, apparently. and also is an uber driver, and works at the pier as a stevedore. It’s clear that Iris is doing everything for Judy as she is always talking about her constantly. Judy sees things from a new perspective and then becomes revisable and gives Iris a hug. Then Dad show back up.
This is kind of like the episode The Core, but less interesting narratively. We just see stuff we probably could figured out already, Iris loves Judy and would do anything for her. But we don’t even get the fun comic book version of events. 5/10
Episode 19 - I Bought Your School
Space Dad is back. He pays off Russo and Cory to leave and decides to move in with Iris and Judy. His presence isn’t appreciated, probably because he’s a dead beat and constantly criticizes everything. Be bought the school and renames it Judy is Fly as Hell high School, and hypnotizes the teachers to give her good grades. He bribes the students by abolishing class and giving everyone pizza and ice cream. It’s a constant party at school. Judy still thinks he is a bad dad, because he is, but everyone else thinks he’s awesome. Judy still is unhappy, so Space Dad undoes everything and tries to connect with her emotionally. It’s clear he’s not very good at it, but Judy want so badly to connect she goes along with it. Russo is clearly around and more emotionally available, but she can’t exactly see that. Dad says he’s going to submit earth to join the space coalition and wants Judy to help with the application.
Can you just buy a public school? Sure whatever. And I guess whatever kind of alien Space Dad is pretty close to omnipotent. This episode was fine. But I really stated to notice how bad the animation is. I don’t have the skills to really talk about why but it just seems like a high budget flash animation from the late 2000s. Homestar Runner looks better than this. 5/10
Episode 20 - Big Fish
Judy is traveling with Dad to see everything cool about Earth so it can join the federation. Iris feels like she is losing connection with her daughter while she and Dad jet-set around the planet. She and Russo are trying to do things while they have time alone but Cory keeps tagging along. Judy and Dad finish their prep for the application, and prepare to go to space and submit it. Iris is worried that Dad is up to no good, but Judy isn’t hearing it. Judy is sad as she leaves and Dad cheers her up with cool space things, in SPACE!
Clearly half the story, to be finished in the next episode (and finale.) I still don’t feel like we ever quite get past the trappings of the “deadbeat dad tries to make good” story we’ve seen so many times. It’s all just so cliche. Cory showing up over and over again was funny though. 4/10
Episode 21 - Small Pond
Judy and Dad arrive at United Planets HQ. a quick universal translator moment and Dad takes Judy to his office. Back home Iris is pacing and worried about Judy but pretending not to be. Russo looks Judy up on the intergalactic tracker he has, but she doesn’t show up. Iris panics and they go to the Agent’s office to enlist his help in tracking her down. Turns out she’s near proxima Centauri which Russo describes as a backwater part of the galaxy. Julie gives her speech and afterwards learns Dad is trying to sell the planet to one of the other aliens including options to kill all the people. The alien tourists from earlier turn out to be prospective buyers. One buys the earth and Judy learns that the federation buys angels planets. She complains and he has her arrested by space cops. Iris, Russo and Cory arrive with the Aliens Anonymous group and Agent, who rescue her from the space cops. Judy and Dad transform and fight. Judy meets her future eyepatch husband who shows up to arrest everyone. And the show ends.
Obviously Space Dad was nefarious, we all saw that coming. This whole episode was pushing plot forward, which means there was less opportunity for humor. Sort of but not really a cliffhanger ending, and we obviously know it’s not coming back at this point. 4/10
I kind came around on this by the end. The character work was the best part, but even that wasn’t great. The story was predictable at almost every turn, which was disappointing. The animation was butts most of the time. sometimes they referenced Twin Peaks, that was fun. I’m glad I took the time to watch it, just because I find obscure media like this fun. It’s not a great lost series or anything but they were making the best show they could and that’s worth recognizing.
Series Score(average): 4.5/10
Never mind that I’m going to write about Facebook’s streaming cartoon Human Kind Of. I got the whim to watch the musical episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer one morning and when you get that urge, you follow through on it. I can confirm that the episode is as good as it ever was (and it was great) but while I was watching it, I got a little sad that most of the stars of the show didn’t go on to a lot of other great things. In some cases that might be because Joss Whedon is a jerk who squashed their careers (seriously) but even outside of that I think most of them should have had more to do outside of Buffy (If they wanted it.)
This lead me to looking up Michele Trachtenberg, who played Dawn in Seasons 5-7 of the show. She has a key storyline in the musical episode and I found myself enjoying her performance more than I had previously remembered. So I do what I often do after this confluence of thoughts and went to look up the actor on IMDB. I wasn’t surprised that she hasn’t done a lot of work lately, bathed the occasional one-off credit in a lot of shows. after playing a more hefty role on the original run of Gossip Girl (28 episodes, so I doubt that she was a lead.)
What surprised me was a show called Human Kind of from 2018 with 21 episodes listed. Turns out it was part of the slate of programs This was that brief period of time where Facebook was trying to launch a streaming service, but before they (allegedly) colluded with netflix to stop producing content so as to not compete against each other.
In that brief period of time Facebook created 14 original scripted shows, including 3 animated ones. This was around the time Bojack Horseman was big and it looked like there was a real future for adult animation as a genre. (Animation isn’t actually a genre but tell that the the pile of shows that tried to copy Bojack Horseman) Also, I think it should be mentioned, because it’s my favorite fact about Facebook Watch, There was a TV show based on a podcast called Limetown that starred Jessica Biel and Stanley Tucci, just to show how much Facebook was putting money behind their streaming service (until they agreed with Netflix to stop. Allegedly)
The premise of this show is that a teenager, on her 16th birthday, discovers that she is probably half alien. Each episode is only about 5-10 minutes long, which means you can watch all 21 in just under two ans a half hours. So I did.
These are my thoughts.
Episode 1 - Attack of the Period Monster
Judy (our protagonist) has her first period at 16 and giant semi-sentient blood clot comes out of her and begins terrorizing the town (and eating people). Her mother explains that she expected this might happen eventually because Judy was conceived when Iris (Judy’s mother) had sex with an alien while high on Ayahuasca and Judy was born 2 months later out of Iris’s Mouth. Cory, Iris’s best friend calls Iris to tell her the monster is at the pharmacy. Iris and Judy drive there and kill the blow clot by pouring blood thinners on it. We also get a stinger where a secret agent scoops up some of the blood in a vial.
As far as premise pilots go, this isn’t a bad one. We get a good sense of Judy and Iris, but not much of Cory, and an idea of what each episode might be like. A new alien related thing happens to Judy and then they have to deal with it. With episodes this short it’s hard not to do much more than that, but we’ll see how it goes. 7/10
Episode 2 - Gene Genie
In class Judy is in class and discovering her powers which include Telepathy and telekinesis. Cody confronts her in the bathroom and learns the truth, after causing Judy of being a robot or doppelgänger. Back at home Cory and Judy decode her DNA (a process which takes only 30 seconds) and discover a message from her dad, and a phone number, embedded in the genome. She calls the number while her mom gets drunk and leaves a voicemail. The episode ends with the agent in a van nearby recording the message, and we see Judy’s dad receiving it as well.
Not much of a plot in this one, which was actually more stage setting than episode 1. We quickly bring Cory into the fold, but this felt like a prologue to future events rather than a standalone episode. 3/10
Episode 3 - Volleyball Goddess
Cory is painting a bruise on Judy to get out of gym class. Turns out half the class is doing the same thing. The teacher sees through it then makes the fakers play volleyball against the rest of the class, a blatantly unfair situation. Except Judy’s alien powers make her unreasonably good at the game and she single-handedly defeats the opposing team. One of the popular boys (Ethan) finds this hot. Back home Judy is exercising and getting noticeably jacked immediately. Her mom disapproves, because Ethans are bad at commitment. Judy continues to get more jacked at a clearly alien infused rate becoming a volleyball-esque hulk. But then she hurts some people, gets sad and shrinks back down. She then breaks her own leg to get out of class.
The only good joke in this (and it’s not a great one) is that the gym teacher would rather be a drama teacher, so she fuels all her instructions through the prism of theater. Averything else that happens is fairly boring teen comedy stuff, plus a thin slathering of alien powers on top. Nobody really thinks it’s weird that Judy gets jacked, then un-jacked so quickly. I’m not excited that I have 18 of these left. 2/10
Episode 4 - Judy and the Beast
Judy wakes up and looks scaly and with tusks(?) poking out of her face. She is sad, but Cory says she can win the Costume Contest, which her mother support when she learns that the prize is. Judy is sad because Ethan was going to ask her to the dance. Iris and Cory put on a dress try-on montage and each time Judy comes out looking more grotesque. Judy’s teacher comes by to drop of her homework (I guess word travels fast that she skipped school) and Iris is smitten and asks him to combine and say hi. He tries to give her an inspirational task through the door. She comes out and he compliments her “halloween costume.” They go to the dance and bump into the agent from earlier but think he’s only a kid in a costume. Judy wins the contest with Ethan and they dance. She molts to look normal and Ethan asks her on a date (while she has a vision of biting his head off.)
This one at least used the “alien as metaphor for teen problems” more than the last one, but so much happened that it felt like everything was set up and resolved at breakneck speed. These sub 10 minute episodes (this one was under 5) really have no room to breath at all. 5/10
Episode 5 - Mating Habits
Judy is on her date with Ethan but kills him (oh it was a dream) and now Judy is worrying that she wants to literally eat Ethan because of her alien parts. She grows mandibles when she’s attracted to guys. Iris offers a homeless man for Judy to eat before her date but Judy is not attracted to him, so she doesn’t want to eat him. Instead Iris offers appetite suppressants. Iris and Cory are going to follow her on the date incase Ethan gets eaten and they have to clean up. Ethan turns out to be a total loser who thinks he’s cool. He recites a poem and tries to kiss Judy which she rejects by transforming. After the women leave the agent shows up and erases Ethan’s Memory.
Turns out Ethan is only attractive from a distance, so nobody gets eaten in this episode. I did kind of like the goofy fake cool gibberish he was spouting on the date. Plus there was a Twin Peaks reference at the end. 6/10
Episode 6 - Uncommon Cold
We get another scene in class. Ethan is making fun of Judy after their date. She telekenetically pulls his eye out of his skull then sneezes into the future, where she sees a guy with an eyepatch. She keeps sneezing which send her back to the present and then to the future where she sees flashes of her future including a wedding and giving birth to a slug. In her longest jaunt she tells the eyepatch guy she’s from the past. In her last trip she sees her future husband die of a future disease. She briefly considers Ethan was her future husband, but then puts his eye back in so it’s not him.
There’s really no room for these things to breathe is there? Thins whole episode almost takes place in real time, covering roughly 5 minutes where Judy sees snapshots of her whole (potential?) future. Solid episode, good misdirect with the eyepatch guy. 9/10
Episode 7 - Interior: Bully
Cory and Judy are playing with a nihilist cootie catcher. Judy accidentally uses her telepathy against her bully. Cory wants to use the power for evil. Judy reads Melissa (her bully)’s brain and learns she framed Judy for cheating in 6th grade. Judy stalks Melissa at home and it turns out she’s miserable because of her family’s pressure to be pretty instead of smart, but also that she got cheek implants. Judy connects with Melissa at school, until other kids show up and she reacts by pushing Judy away.
We really are retreading all the classic teen comedy plots. This was better when Freaks and Geeks did it. I’m already so tired of these. and I’m only 33.3% through. 3/10
Episode 8 - Desperately Seeking Social Skills
Cory isn’t at lunch and Judy can’t start eating without her. Judy has to eat alone, which means she doesn’t have a social group anymore. Her alien powers turn her into a got kid so she sits with the other goth kids. Then she transforms into a horse kid to hang out with the horse kids and a teacher to sit with the teachers. Cory sees all this and is mad. Judy keeps shapeshifting between different social circles and Cory confronts her. They fight because Judy sees Cory as her sidekick. Then the episode ends.
Another half story. The show is trying to be serialized, but any time it leans to far in that direction the individual episodes really suffer. But it’s not like you could watch this as one two and a half hour movie (the total length of the series) either. Even though that’s kind of what I’m doing by binging the whole series. Also this episode had a total of 15 comments over the last 6 years and that’s very funny to me. Because this thing is so obscure, despite whoever much money facebook put into making it. I hope the cast got paid well at least. 1/10
Episode 9 - The Core
An episode following Cory specifically as she deals with the fallout from the fight in last episode. It’s presented as an issue of the comic book she writes (Which we’re first hearing about) but also with flashes of what’s happening in the real world, where Cory throws together a makeshift costume to be her super villain alter ego The Core, which mostly includes wearing goggles and a sweat shirt tied rounder neck like a cape. She fights her parents and runs to school instead of taking the bus. Then she starts showing pencils at a teacher so the class doesn’t have to take a test, which works. The episode ends with a reconciliation between Cory and Judy.
Cory is really having a breakdown in this episode, but it feels like it’s playing for comedy. 8/10
The facebook player is absolutely terrible. First of all I had to use a browser plugin to block all the login popups and watch the episodes. Then each episode starts muted, but if you click out of the player the default behavior it also pauses and mutes the video again, which means I spend the first 30 seconds of each episode trying to re-adjust the settings I can take notes while I’m watching. I’m suffering for my art.*
*My art is apparently watching mediocre videos online and writing about the.
Episode 10 - Mr. Russo is Missing
Mr Russo, the regular science teacher who has been in a lot of episodes is out and has been replaced by a substitute teacher. He’s a “Cool sub” which means he is very not cool at all. Cool Sub gives an oral pop quiz where he threatens the students with the class bully if they fail. Judy decides Mr. Russo is avoiding Iris, so she and Cory leave class to hunt him down. The go to his home, but he’s not there. So they break in. Turns out Mr. Russo has a bunch of nice pictures of Judy and Iris on the fridge. Judy feels bad and decides to leave. Cory stays for inspiration for her comics. Cory discovers that Russo has been tracking Judy’s alien powers and know everything She confronts him when he comes home and the episode ends.
We are sliding more towards serialization. Judy gets a complete arc in this one at least. She goes from suspicious of Russo to happy about him. The only alien thing is Judy punching the door to Mr. Russo’s apartment in, although the rest are mentioned when the secret research room is detected. The joke about the DVD of Stock Footage of Families was very funny. 5/10
Episode 11 - You can trust me Judy
Judy gets summoned to the principle’s office. There the Agent is waiting, along with a bunch of other identical agents. He offers a chance to work together and even proves it by letting her read his mind. Then Mr. Russo freezes time and walks through the wall (He can do that I guess?) and Cory is there tool Russo removes the brain jammer the agent is wearing and Judy sees his true intentions are to cut open Judy and study her. Turns out Russo was sent to protect Judy and is taking her, iris and Cory to a rendezvous point. but they’re ambushed by agents. They’re saved by an alien who we know is Judy’s Dad. He kills a bunch of the agents, makes the rest promise not to hurt Judy, and then makes her the official ambassador to Earth and invites her to space before jetting back off to space himself.
Los of plot in this episode. Probably as much as we’ve had since the first episode. Really feels like a turning point in the series, and the fact that we’ve apparently run oft of Teenage alien at school material at the half way point feels rather telling. This one has an ad break! No ad played, but there was the sort of cut to black cliffhanger where an ad would go if there was one. A weird thing to have in a 6 minute long episode. Good Joke: Cory kicks all the agents in the balls while they’re frozen. 6/10
Episode 12 - Space Camp
Cory and Judy are preparing to go to space. Cory had a u-haul full of supplies, and Iris is sad about Judy leaving, even though it’s just for the weekend. She offers a tentacles hopper/chastity belt but Judy politely refuses. After waiting all day Judy’s dad still hasn’t arrived. Judy calls, but just gets his voicemail. Iris comforts Judy and shares she also spent years waiting for her dad. Judy lashes out at Russo, crushing his car, but he treats her like person and she feels better. Dad interrupts a TV show (Twin Peaks!) to tell Judy as an ambassador she has to spend at least another year on her planet before leaving.
After all the rigamarole in the last episode and this one, we’ve really hit the reset button, going back to the basic premise of “half alien teenager.” We get some classic deadbeat dad stuff, and the fact that he’s an alien is really irrelevant. The stuff between Russo and Judy actually worked for me, kind of. This is the only one to put the episode number in the title of the video. That’s a weird thing, and I wonder if it was supposed to be there. 5/10
Episode 13 - Work is Work
Judy gets a waitress job to help support her mom. She’s also working as an ambassador to a group of alien tourists to earth while working and serving a bunch of unruly teens from school. Iris an Russo come in and Judy quits when she learns that the space federation she is an ambassador for pays in diamonds.
This is classic sitcom hijinks. It was a classic when Goldoni wrote Servant of Two Masters in 1746. But it’s also a classic for a reason. two competing groups demanding attention from one person, in this case aliens and teens. I also appreciated the escalating deserts Cory was eating over the episode culminating in a chocolate fountain she carried around with her. Plus we got a couple more Twin Peaks references, which I appreciate. The episodes stopped having english subtitles about 3 episodes ago, which is a real disappointment. They do come in auto-generated Spanish though! 9/10
Episode 14 - Aliens Anonymous
Judy is sad because she knows there’s a whole universe of people out there. Mr. Russo sits down with them at lunch and recommends Judy come to an Aliens Anonymous meeting. all of the aliens take off their disguises and Cory tries to sit in wearing a costume but is caught and kicked out. The aliens share their stories then reminisce about their space histories. Judy learns that Earth is like a cosmic Nebraska where people come to hide out because it’s very forgettable. The aliens learn she was born here and they all try to get something from her dad before Mr. Russo shuts them down. Judy is still sad because she still feels alone even after the meeting. Iris and Cory sulk about being excluded.
One of the aliens is clearly supposed to be Bill Nye, who likes eating kids and another one s is just Neil DeGrasse Tyson, which isn’t a great look, because of the history of sexual abuse allegations, but I think those came out after the episode premiered. This episode barely had a plot, it was mostly an excuse to show off some different alien designs. Judy is sad and alone at the beginning and end. 4/10
Episode 15 - Hoax of the Century
Video of that tine Judy’s dad showed up is going viral. Everyone is watching it and know thinks Judy is an alien (because she is.) Judy is nauseous at the revelation, Iris recommends poisoning the water supply to kill everyone who saw it. They decdide to contact the Agent to enlist his let in a government coverup. He calls preemptively to team up. Cory and Judy go to the generic government office and meet the Agent. He proposes reshooting the video from a different angle to “prove” the original was fake. We get a montage of The Agent doing a terrible series of takes. Judy learns that the government knows about many aliens on earth, but she’s special because she has a bunch of special powers.
Where did that video come from? Who took it? This episode doesn’t care. Videos just appear online doncha know? Which is weirdly on-brand for a facebook watch series. I think the further we move away from episodes that are about Judy directly the worse the series is. 1/10
Episode 16 - House Party
Iris and Mr. Russo are going away for the weekend, so Cory is throwing a party at Judy’s house. Judy is pretending to be over Ethan, but he might come to the party so she gets excited. They have to get booze though for Ethan to show up. Judy texts an alien for a connection. Jonathan, the alien brings a bunch of alien friends who take off their human suits. Cory solves this with strategic banner reading “Alien Costume Party.” Melissa rips of an alien’s antennae to wear as a costume. An alien secretes booze, and gets drunk on water. Cory is doing alien drugs. Ethan and Melissa broke up for the duration of the party so Ethan can make out with her. But then when Judy is distracted they get back together, so Judy says one of the aliens can eat him. Judy meets her half sibling from a generation ship, but he was a deadbeat to them too. Turns out Judy’s dad is a time-hopping serial philanderer. The cops show up and the party ends. Except it was Judy shapeshifting as the cops. As all the aliens leave she sees her eye-patched future husband leaving the house.
Most of the aliens we see are from previous episodes, so that’s kind of fun. Cory hallucinating all the organisms inside her body cheering her on was funny. Most everything else was standard party episode shenanigans with just a little bit of alien veneer on top. Nothing is significantly different because of aliens. 2/10
Episode 17 - Plan B from Outer space
Judy in english class reading Taming of the Shrew. The Gym Teacher got transferred to English because of reasons, and still wants to be directing. Judy gets nauseous and buff and vomits chocolate on Cory. In the nurse’s office the nurse tells Judy she is pregnant. It’s clear the nurse is bad at her job, but Judy takes her seriously. She specs that when she walked in on some spore aliens at the party she might have gotten impregnated then. Russo takes Judy to a froyo shop and reveals all froyo shops are actually fronts for alien businesses. This one is an alien pregnancy center. Turns out she’s not pregnant, but has a space STD.
I do like Shakespeare, so that was a nice surprise. But the rest of the episode… has nothing interesting to say. It’s not like i’ve come to expect particularly deep or insightful things, but at least some of the jokes can be clever. This didn’t even do that. FYI That is Betsy Sodaro as the Gym/English teacher, which I suspected back in the Volleyball episode, but didn’t look up until now. She’s one of my favorites as a recurring character in Ghosts (which is a much better TV show than this) 4/10
Episode 18 - Invisible Girl
Judy becomes so embarrassed at her mom making out with MR. Russo in the parking lot that she becomes invisible. And also inaudible. Then she accidentally gets stuck in the car with Iris while she goes about her day. She works as a sample giver at a grocery store, apparently. and also is an uber driver, and works at the pier as a stevedore. It’s clear that Iris is doing everything for Judy as she is always talking about her constantly. Judy sees things from a new perspective and then becomes revisable and gives Iris a hug. Then Dad show back up.
This is kind of like the episode The Core, but less interesting narratively. We just see stuff we probably could figured out already, Iris loves Judy and would do anything for her. But we don’t even get the fun comic book version of events. 5/10
Episode 19 - I Bought Your School
Space Dad is back. He pays off Russo and Cory to leave and decides to move in with Iris and Judy. His presence isn’t appreciated, probably because he’s a dead beat and constantly criticizes everything. Be bought the school and renames it Judy is Fly as Hell high School, and hypnotizes the teachers to give her good grades. He bribes the students by abolishing class and giving everyone pizza and ice cream. It’s a constant party at school. Judy still thinks he is a bad dad, because he is, but everyone else thinks he’s awesome. Judy still is unhappy, so Space Dad undoes everything and tries to connect with her emotionally. It’s clear he’s not very good at it, but Judy want so badly to connect she goes along with it. Russo is clearly around and more emotionally available, but she can’t exactly see that. Dad says he’s going to submit earth to join the space coalition and wants Judy to help with the application.
Can you just buy a public school? Sure whatever. And I guess whatever kind of alien Space Dad is pretty close to omnipotent. This episode was fine. But I really stated to notice how bad the animation is. I don’t have the skills to really talk about why but it just seems like a high budget flash animation from the late 2000s. Homestar Runner looks better than this. 5/10
Episode 20 - Big Fish
Judy is traveling with Dad to see everything cool about Earth so it can join the federation. Iris feels like she is losing connection with her daughter while she and Dad jet-set around the planet. She and Russo are trying to do things while they have time alone but Cory keeps tagging along. Judy and Dad finish their prep for the application, and prepare to go to space and submit it. Iris is worried that Dad is up to no good, but Judy isn’t hearing it. Judy is sad as she leaves and Dad cheers her up with cool space things, in SPACE!
Clearly half the story, to be finished in the next episode (and finale.) I still don’t feel like we ever quite get past the trappings of the “deadbeat dad tries to make good” story we’ve seen so many times. It’s all just so cliche. Cory showing up over and over again was funny though. 4/10
Episode 21 - Small Pond
Judy and Dad arrive at United Planets HQ. a quick universal translator moment and Dad takes Judy to his office. Back home Iris is pacing and worried about Judy but pretending not to be. Russo looks Judy up on the intergalactic tracker he has, but she doesn’t show up. Iris panics and they go to the Agent’s office to enlist his help in tracking her down. Turns out she’s near proxima Centauri which Russo describes as a backwater part of the galaxy. Julie gives her speech and afterwards learns Dad is trying to sell the planet to one of the other aliens including options to kill all the people. The alien tourists from earlier turn out to be prospective buyers. One buys the earth and Judy learns that the federation buys angels planets. She complains and he has her arrested by space cops. Iris, Russo and Cory arrive with the Aliens Anonymous group and Agent, who rescue her from the space cops. Judy and Dad transform and fight. Judy meets her future eyepatch husband who shows up to arrest everyone. And the show ends.
Obviously Space Dad was nefarious, we all saw that coming. This whole episode was pushing plot forward, which means there was less opportunity for humor. Sort of but not really a cliffhanger ending, and we obviously know it’s not coming back at this point. 4/10
I kind came around on this by the end. The character work was the best part, but even that wasn’t great. The story was predictable at almost every turn, which was disappointing. The animation was butts most of the time. sometimes they referenced Twin Peaks, that was fun. I’m glad I took the time to watch it, just because I find obscure media like this fun. It’s not a great lost series or anything but they were making the best show they could and that’s worth recognizing.
Series Score(average): 4.5/10